One of the hardest aspects of life with a newborn is adjusting to their sleep patterns and functioning with less consistent sleep.

Before we dive into surviving the exhaustion of new parenthood, it’s important to note that frequent wakes are completely biologically normal for babies. Knowing this beforehand can help ease some uncertainty and frustration. 

Let’s dive into what you can expect and how you can meet your baby’s needs, along with your own. 

Newborn Sleep Cycles:

Newborns have sleep cycles that greatly differ from adults. While newborns sleep around 14-18 hours per day (depending on the baby), it likely won’t feel restful for their caregivers. 

Their sleep is divided into active sleep (REM sleep) and quiet sleep (non-REM sleep). These sleep cycles typically last around 50 to 60 minutes, and roughly half of their sleep time is spent in each state. 

During active sleep, you may find your baby is twitching, making sucking motions, breathing faster, or even smiling. During quiet sleep, your baby will be still and appear more restful.

Read more here: https://www.sleepfoundation.org/baby-sleep/baby-sleep-cycle 

Frequent Waking: 

While everyone loves to ask new parents about their baby sleeping through the night, this would actually be extremely abnormal newborn behavior.  

It is biologically normal for newborns to wake frequently throughout the night. In fact, it’s an innate survival mechanism specifically designed to ensure they are adequately nourished and cared for. 

Newborns have small stomachs that require frequent feeding, which requires them to wake every 2-3 hours to meet their metabolic needs.

It is extremely important to note that switching them to formula will not cheat the system on this one. This is an extremely common misconception that exhausted and vulnerable new parents fall prey to.

If your goal is to breastfeed, please don’t believe that feeding your baby formula will magically solve their sleep “problems.” They are in fact not problems that need to be fixed at all, your baby is doing just what they are designed to do. 

And PLEASE, NEVER put rice cereal in your baby’s bottle. This is dangerous and completely unnecessary. This is an outdated practice/recommendation that has been proven ineffective and harmful. 

In fact, overfeeding will only lead to increased discomfort, gas, more spitting up (more clothing and bedding changes, more time holding them upright, more waking), and will make them have a tendency to continuously eat more, despite not being hungry. 

Besides hunger, newborns might also wake due to gas, being too warm or cold, the need for a diaper change, or simply needing reassurance from their caregivers.

Day-Night Confusion: 

Newborns are born needing to establish a circadian rhythm. This is the internal clock that regulates sleep-wake cycles in humans. 

This means that they will likely have their days and nights mixed up. Because of this, they may have longer periods of wakefulness at night and more frequent naps during the day. 

While this can be challenging for exhausted parents, there are strategies to help gently encourage a more regular sleep pattern. Try exposing your baby to natural light during the day by spending time outside or hanging out near windows. 

At night, keep feedings calm and quiet. Using a dim nightlight rather than overhead lighting is helpful. Knotted gowns, double zipper pajamas and swaddles/sleep sacks help to keep baby warm and minimize the amount of movement needed during diaper changes. Simply untie/unzip the lower portion to change the diaper, while their upper body remains covered.

Woolino 4 Season Baby Sleeping Bag, Organic Cotton & Wool, 2-24 Months: https://amzn.to/3Tp2KZK

Halo Organic Cotton Sleepsack Swaddle: https://amzn.to/3wQ0zp3

Organic Cotton Knotted Gown: https://amzn.to/437AvC7

Little Planet by Carters Two Way Zipper Organic Sleeper: https://amzn.to/3T9c6HE

Following wake windows can be very helpful for guiding your daily routine and avoiding fussiness from being overtired. Being overtired can actually create more sleep difficulties, sleep begets sleep.

Read about wake windows here: https://www.happiestbaby.com/blogs/baby/wake-windows 

Creating a Sleep-Friendly Environment:

While newborns do not respond to “schedules,” you can create a sleep-friendly environment for your baby and follow nightly routines. 

Again, keeping the room dimly lit during nighttime feedings can minimize disruptions to their sleep. Sound machines can be used to set a soothing atmosphere conducive to sleep. Also ensure that your baby’s sleep space is safe and comfortable, following guidelines for safe sleep practices to reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). 

Hatch 2nd Gen Sound Machine/Nightlight: https://amzn.to/3ToC5vX

Even if you don’t plan on bedsharing, I highly recommend researching the Safe Sleep 7: https://llli.org/news/the-safe-sleep-seven/ 

While many new parents don’t intend to sleep with their babies, the above article highlights that around 60-75% of breastfeeding mothers will bedshare at least some of the time. 

Learning how to safely bedshare can minimize the risk of sleep related accidents. Most of these occur during unplanned bedsharing, with a sleep space that is not suitable (couch, recliner) or set up correctly to protect the baby. 

Newton Baby Bassinet & Bedside Sleeper w/ Mattress & Sheet (100% Breathable & Washable, Greenguard Certified): https://amzn.to/3ParXEy

It is also recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) to room share for the first 6-12 months of your baby’s life, which helps to reduce the risk of SIDS, and makes night time feeds easier. 

Read AAP Recommendations here: https://www.aap.org/en/news-room/news-releases/aap/2020/tips-for-keeping-infants-safe-during-sleep-from-the-american-academy-of-pediatrics/

Room sharing allows caregivers to promptly respond to their baby’s needs, which improves their overall safety. The stirring, movements, and sounds of caregivers also protect babies from sleeping too soundly, which is proposed to increase the likelihood of SIDS.

This article https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_cosleeping_can_help_you_and_your_baby highlights that parents “serve as a kind of biological ‘jumper cable,’ or outsourced regulator, to a newborn baby when she is completing her gestation outside her mother’s body. When parents and babies sleep together, their heart rates, brain waves, sleep states, oxygen levels, temperature, and breathing influence one another.” 

This co-regulation helps protect babies during sleep.

Supporting Healthy Sleep Habits:

Even though these aspects of newborn sleep are biologically normal, it doesn’t mean new parents won’t struggle with their new sleeping conditions. 

Establishing a consistent bedtime routine can help your baby sense that it’s time to wind down and prepare for sleep. Activities like a warm bath, gentle massage, quiet cuddles, singing/playing a lullaby, and feeding can help relax your baby. 

Consistency and patience are essential as your baby gradually learns how to self-soothe and settle into longer stretches of sleep.

Navigating Your New Normal

During this adjustment period, it can be extremely helpful to rely on family, friends, or a doula to help you get uninterrupted sleep. 

Taking daytime naps or sleeping in while another caregiver takes over can make the nighttime sleep (or lack thereof) much more manageable. 

If you are breastfeeding/plan to, it is important to remember that breastmilk is produced through a supply and demand process.

In order to establish and maintain a sufficient milk supply, it is crucial to remove milk every 2-3 hours. 

If your partner or another caregiver is watching your baby while you sleep, ensure you wake by the three hour mark to pump or feed your baby.

While this doesn’t sound very restful, eliminating the diaper change, burping, settling, swaddling, getting back down to sleep does save a lot of time. 

Instead, you can simply pump or feed and immediately fall back asleep while your baby is tended to by another caregiver. 

Tackling the Night Routine

Many parents find splitting the night into shifts helpful. One parent typically does better in the early night or early morning. Based on your specific situation and preferences, consider taking shifts (ex: 8pm-1am, 1am-6am) with the breastfeeding mom feeding the baby immediately before handoff and only waking to pump or feed at the three hour mark. 

Alternatively, if both parents are on parental leave, some find it nice to tackle the feeds together. The partner will get the baby from the crib/bassinet, bring them to mom, and keep them company during the feed. Then the partner will change the diaper, settle baby, and return them to their sleep space. 

A third option is to alternate each feed. Unfortunately, pumping at the three hour mark will still be necessary in the early stages of establishing milk supply.

Another option is having one partner on nighttime duty (might be better for mom because of breastfeeding), while the other partner sleeps uninterrupted. Then the partner who slept overnight will take over in the early morning so the other can get uninterrupted sleep.

The key here is that the caregiver relieving the mother can adequately soothe the baby, so the mom can actually get decent sleep. 

This may look like perfecting Dr. Harvey Karp’s 5 S’s for Soothing Babies (swaddling, holding baby on side or stomach, shushing, swinging, sucking). 

Read more here: https://www.happiestbaby.com/blogs/baby/the-5-s-s-for-soothing-babies 

If you are comfortable with using a pacifier, it could be a helpful soothing method while mom is sleeping. 

Babywearing is another amazing tool to help baby feel safe and secure when with another caregiver.

Check out my favorite carriers/wraps here: 

Beco Gemini Baby Carrier (Newborn to Toddler-Front, Back and Hip Seat Carrier, Ergonomic, 7-35lbs, Organic Metro Black): https://amzn.to/3wINrSL

Baby K’tan Organic Pre-Wrapped Baby Wrap (Newborn to 35 lbs): https://amzn.to/48Dr7Hy

Solly Baby Wrap: https://glnk.io/mzm9y/sageandsouldoula

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Tula Baby Carriers (we love the Dove Linen Explore!): https://babytula.com/?irgwc=1&utm_source=PartnerCentric&utm_medium=affiliate&utm_campaign=4745908_Sage%20%26%20Soul%20Doula&clickid=XWGX-LVKZxyPWAUVt52Y3QSYUkH37lxRRVLcxE0&utm_term=XWGX-LVKZxyPWAUVt52Y3QSYUkH37lxRRVLcxE0

In conclusion, respecting the biologically normal sleep patterns of newborns can help parents conquer the early months with more confidence and less stress. 

While it’s expected to feel exhausted and overwhelmed at times, understanding that your baby’s sleep patterns are developmentally appropriate can provide some much needed reassurance. 

By creating a supportive sleep environment and introducing calming sleep routines, you can lay the foundation for lifelong healthy sleep patterns. 

Don’t forget to work as a team with your loved ones to ensure your sleep needs are met as well ☺️ Sleep is so important for adequate postpartum healing! 

If you’re local to Middletown, Connecticut and looking for a doula, reach out here: https://sageandsouldoula.com/contact-me/

Set up a free consult to discuss your needs here: https://calendly.com/sageandsouldoula/free-doula-consult?month=2024-03

Drop any of your sleep related questions below! 

Wishing you a restorative and healing fourth trimester with your new baby 🤍